I decided that this week I should probably bring Fudge into the 21st century in terms of music (but don't worry, we'll head back into the 60s-90s soon). For her first taste of the modern era I've decided to start her off with the discography of one of the few contemporary musicians making real music: Justin Vernon (Bon Iver, Volcano Choir, Shouting Matches, Big Red Machine, Gayngs).
Fun event of the week:
I had a dream that at our 20 week scan the doctor kept referring to Fudge as "he". Turns out I'd misread the DNA results from week 10 and the "female" on the test result wasn't Fudge's sex, it was mine. My whole dream revolved around mentally regrouping to prepare for a boy, not a girl and having to explain to everyone that I don't know how to read test results. I woke up very confused, thought about double checking the results, then realised it would be stupid to list my gender on the results, obviously I'm female...
I checked the results anyway. Fudge is a girl. This will be reconfirmed on Wednesday at our 20 week scan.
After finishing off last week feeling a bit uncomfortable and tired, I decided to do a tiny bit of everything today.
A1. 12 Barbell Rows
A2. 10 Bicep Curls
B1. 12 Lat Pull Downs
B2. 8 Bear Crawl Hold Limb Lift Offs
30 min stretch
Didn't have too much time today and I woke up really feeling like a run. I set off for 45min and then came back for a nice long stretch.
I had grand plans for a track and kettlebell session today but Hong Kong had other plans for me. After my last client of the day I stepped out of the studio onto D'Aguilar street and was met with a crowd of protesters running uphill from Queen's Road. A man stopped me and told me police had just fired tear gas (fact check: it was actually pepper bullets). His eyes were blood shot. Then I noticed everyone around him was coughing and pouring water on their faces. After a quick Twitter search I came to the decision that perhaps home was a better direction to head in.
Luckily our building has a gorgeous outdoor garden area so I grabbed my Calibrate bands and trained outdoors.
A1. 12 Bulgarian Split Squats
A2. 8 Banded Front Raise Pulses
A3. 15 Banded Standing Fire Hydrants
B1. 10 Single Leg Box Squats
B2. 12 Incline Push Ups
B3. 15 Banded Standing Kickbacks
Today I was able to do the track and kettlebell session I wanted to do yesterday.
A1. 8 reps of Kettlebell Complex 1 (biceps, triceps, squats, overhead squats)
A2. 8 Bodyweight Windmills*
B1. 50m Prisoner Walking Lunges
B2. 50m Prowler Push @ 100% body weight
C1. Supine Kettlebell Pullovers
C2. 30s Battle Ropes
*I'd initially planned to do weighted windmills but after attempting one I felt a weird pull around my obliques and thoracic spine, I decided not to push it so I took the weight off, attempted a modified windmill (with great success) and then went back into a full windmill with no weight.
I had an unexpected quiet morning and after a few days in a row of weight/resistance training I decided to go for an active recovery walk from home into the studio.
I used the breaks in my day today to get a few mobility and stretch sessions in which is slowly shaping up to be a pretty standard Friday routine.
The walk to work went so well I also finished the day walking home.
I could manage was a stretch, bit of mindfulness/meditation and a short walk on Saturday. On Sunday I went out for an aimless 3 hour stroll. More details below.
Life in General
When I first started this blog I promised all of you I was going to be honest. This is going to be slightly heavier than usual but just know it's all rainbows and butterflies at the end! Some of you may now that in the past (and still occasionally to this day) I have had run ins with depression due to hormone imbalances. When I was 16 I was put on a modified birth control pill in order to attempt to control acne. Instead of getting the acne under control I was hit with a full fledged bout of depression. My whole body was in excruciating pain, all I wanted to do was lie in a dark room, I was listless, and I was emotionless. At my parents' order, I was taken off the medication.
When I was 19 or 20, despite my previous experience, I attempted to go on the actual pill and the result was exactly the same. After 4 weeks of attempting to push through to let my hormones adjust I wasn't getting better. At my now husband's request, I took myself off the pill.
This did mean that although we always knew we wanted to have kids, I was probably going to go through depression-like periods that we'd have to get through. We all know the hormones are WILD during pregnancy!
From about Thursday onwards this week, I just wanted to be alone in silence. My occupation doesn't lend itself very nicely to being alone or to being silent (I'm also normally not so good at the whole "silent" thing) but luckily I had a quieter end to the week so it wasn't too bad. I was moody, tired, and not interested in participating in social life.
On Saturday I hit a low and made the regrettable decision to pull out of a friend's birthday event I was genuinely looking forward to. The notion of having to be social with a big group wasn't sitting well and was giving me a bit of anxiety so I opted not to go. Instead I took the morning to do some of the things that usually pull me straight out of a funk and help me reset. None of them worked. At about 2pm I knew it was time to pull out the big guns so I set off for the studio to practise a mindfulness technique that hasn't failed me in the 14 years I've been doing it. 90 minutes of meditation and me time later I felt MUCH more refreshed and anew, I went for a short walk, had a cold shower, listened to some pumping tunes, and at about 6pm I was back.
There is probably an opportunity here for a dialogue about mental health and mindfulness but I am nowhere close to even an amateur in the field and this is not the appropriate platform to talk about what is a very complicated and very important subject matter. If you are or someone you know is experiencing negative mental health, I highly recommend reaching out to Mind HK (https://www.mind.org.hk/).
It's currently Sunday morning and while I'll admit to feeling somewhat fragile, it's definitely going to be a much better day. It may not be a perfect one, but I'm determined to at least make it better.
Next week is a big and exciting week as we go in for our 20 week structural/anatomical/anomaly scan. Knowing next week is the halfway mark is a bit scary because I definitely feel like I've only been pregnant for about 2 seconds so to know that we're already halfway there is a bit daunting. I definitely need to start buying clothes...
If you made it this far, thanks for reading! If you decided to skip ahead because it was super long and just want to see if I added a lighthearted, topical joke at the end, you're also in luck:
Note to self: it is normal to hate your husband for irrational reasons during pregnancy, however "because he breathes like an asshole" is not grounds for divorce.